The Person In The Mirror

"My hair is to thin or thick."  "My eyes are to close or to far apart."  "My lips are such an awful shade of whatever color."  "I am to fat or skinny." Have you ever thought any of these as you looked in the mirror?  You are not alone.  For years these thoughts and many other degrading ones would fly through my head whenever I caught a glimpse of my reflection.  I have also discovered over the past year or so that I was not  alone, this is actually a common problem for many girls, even ones you would never guess it from.  I have also discovered that much like me, they all thought that they were the only ones who felt this way because unfortunately, while it is easy to often see the beauty of others, it is so difficult to see the beauty in ourselves.  This post and probably a few that follow are going to be about my journey to discovering the worth of the girl in the mirror and how I did in hopes that maybe someone else can too.  

From a young age I have had self image problems, so young that I can't remember a time in my life before the girl in the mirror taunted me with my faults.  I would look at my friends, the girls on book covers and the girls on magazine adds and every time I came up short.  In fact, as time went on, instead of getting better, it only got worse.  By the time I reached my teen years it was not uncommon to occasionally cry myself to sleep at night the feelings of ugliness and worthlessness would be so strong.  This affected my ability to receive love, which we are going to talk about in this first post.  The girl in the mirror loved to tell me how unlovable I was, after all, who could love someone so ugly, even God?

I'll never forget the first time a friend of mine confronted me on this.  God had begun to work in my heart on this area in my life and I had confided in her.  She looked me in the eye and asked me an important question.  "Michelle, can God lie to us?"  I remember mentally rolling my eyes, I mean, duh, of course God can't lie.  He's perfect!  I said just about as much and she just said, "Then why do you call him a liar?"  Now, this really befuddled me, when had I called God a liar? She went on to say, "God loved you so much, He sent His only son to die for you.  So, how can you be unlovable if He has already shown otherwise?"

God loved me.  Now, I had a choice, believe Him or basically revoke my faith in Christ, because either when He died on that cross He loved me or He didn't and if He didn't, then everything was worthless.  One of the verses I love most from this time in my life is Romans 8:38-39  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Nothing  could separate me from the love of God.  Even when I couldn't feel it or didn't think I was worth it, God loved me anyways!  I had to accept the fact that I was wrong, I had worth in Jesus Christ and HE loved me, not because I deserved it, but just because He did.  Nothing I could do or feel could take away His love for me.  Accepting God's love in my life helped open the door for me to be able to accept other peoples love as well.  Next time you feel you are worthless and no one could love you, remind yourself there  is one person who loves you more than His own life, and nothing can separate you from His love.

We'll continue this discussion soon in the next post.  I would love to hear from you!  Have you ever struggled with accepting love or still do?  Share your story in the comments below.  :)

Blessings,
Michelle

Plie`, Jete`, Chasse`

If you're not familiar with the terms above in the title, their dance terms, specifically, ballet terms.  :)  If you haven't guessed it already, this post is about dance.  Dancing has been a passion of mine since I was little, literally.  I began when I was three.  I danced from three to nine before I had to quit when my dad was losing his job.

I cried for weeks after my parents told my sisters and me.  I had so many dreams that died that day, dreams of dancing in The Nutcracker, the dream of someday achieving pointe.  I loved dance, I was passionate about it, and over night, it was gone.  Life went on, here and there I would try to practice what I remembered, but time has a way of dulling even the good memories and I slowly lost everything I had spent years learning. Until last spring.

Last spring I got a second job outside of teaching piano, and with this added income came the renewed dream of dancing.  I went online and made a list of every dance studio in my city, putting my old studio at the top of the list.  I called each one and with each phone call the dream died again a little more.  They all had the same response, I'm sorry, but since you're out of high school we don't have a place for you.  You're to old.

I gave up until one day I saw the dance studio behind my doctor's office.  I almost didn't call knowing they would  have the same answer as all the other places, but I decided to take one last chance, after all, it couldn't hurt anymore than it already did.  I will always be so glad I made that call, because their answer was very different than the other studios, they were excited I wanted to dance and told me I could start in the fall, and I would even get to do recitals!

When August came I was on cloud nine, I had gone to the local dance store and bought my leotard, shoes and tights, I was so ready.  Now if it would only be everything I remembered, and it was.  Dancing was actually even better than I had remembered!  Oh, it's hard work, but it is so worth it!  After all, the hard work is what brings you that sense of satisfaction after you've conquered a move that was particularly hard for you.

I've now been dancing for a year, A YEAR!  My first recital since I was little was this past weekend.  The story was Mary Poppins and I had the time of my life dancing through both of my dances!  God is so good to bring a dream I had let die back to life!  Below are some pictures from my dances, I'm in ballet and jazz.  After the recital was over the first night I literally could not hold still I was so excited!!!!

I'm not the best dancer, but with a lot of practice I plan to just become the best dancer that I can be and dance every chance I can.  :)

I hope all of you have a blessed day!

Blessings,
Michelle  :)

Book Review: Praying for Your Future Husband

Hey Everyone!

I decided that if I was really going to take this blogging seriously I better start today while the excitement is still here or the whole New Beginnings post will be my first and last post of the new beginnings.  :P  So, I decided to go ahead and do a book review on a book I read recently that actually goes along well with a series I am hoping to start soon.  So, without further ado, my book review for Praying for Your Future Husband by Robin Jones Gunn and Tricia Goyer

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Synopsis from the back of the book:

Have you ever thought about praying for your future husband?
Will it make a difference?
There's only one way to find out…

From when we were small girls, most of us dream of "The One," our future husband. We think about what it would be like to be a bride. We wonder who that special guy is and when we'll find him. The great news is that what you do now can make a difference in your life and the life of your future husband!

Authors and good friends Robin Jones Gunn (Christy Miller series) and Tricia Goyer (author and former teen mom) believe God answers women's prayers for husbands—even husbands they may not meet for years. They invite young women to pray boldly for their future mate … while also asking God to prepare their own hearts.

In Praying for Your Future Husband, Robin and Tricia share their two vastly different experiences, including the things they did right and the mistakes they made on the path to meeting and marrying their husbands. Each chapter includes helpful Bible verses, prayers, and practical application, along with true stories of women who prayed for a husband and how God answered in remarkable ways.

God has a beautiful romance prepared for you. Prayer is the key to unlocking the love story … with your future husband and with God, the lover of your soul. 

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I have to be honest, while I love Robin Jones Gunn as an author, I was really skeptical going into this book.  I feel like every time I turn around anymore there are so many 'self-help' books for singles to 'find that perfect boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse' when quite honestly, I don't really go for it.  While I do want to get married and have a family, that is not the beginning of my life as so many seem to think, I really love my life and am enjoying participating in ministries I wouldn't have time to work for if I had a family to worry about.  Being single really does have a lot of advantages.  It was with this attitude I went into reading this book, I mean, I've randomly prayed for my future husband since I was about twelve or thirteen, but it was never much more than a, "God, please let him be a christian, oh, and blue eyes, blonde or brown hair would be nice."  (It depended on what year it was whether it was blonde or brown.  :P )  The pendulum even swung so far as to pray, "God, I'm really enjoying being single, could you just keep him really busy doing things for you right now, because I definitely don't have time for a relationship and well, I am enjoying doing all of these things I can do because I am single."

With this attitude I began the book, but it quickly had my attention, because it wasn't like any of the other books or speakers I've read/heard before.  Each chapter begins with Robin and Tricia taking turns telling a piece of their love story, then giving some practical advice on what to actually pray for your husband.  Each chapter would also give a testimony from an outside source on how prayer had actually made a difference in their husbands life before they had even met.  For instance, one girl felt God really leading her to pray hard for her future husband to wait for her and leave any bad relationships he might be in over the course of eighteen months and journaled about it.  Several years later after she had been married to her husband for awhile, she randomly mentioned it and after looking at the dates in her journal, it turned out he had been in a potentially very harmful relationship, but about the time her prayers began felt God telling him to get out of the relationship.  How encouraging to see that our prayers actually can make a difference in our future spouses life!

Each chapter also went over something specific to be praying for your future husband, some examples being, that he is sold out in love with God, for his purity, that he will have patience, that he will be loyal and faithful to you now and after your marriage and the list went on.  However, I was really pleased to see that it did not end there, it then went on to explain that if you want to marry a man with those characteristics, you need to be praying that God will cultivate the same in your own life.  I LOVED this.  So often it is so easy to pray for him to meet this list of expectations and totally forget that if you expect someone else to live up to that list you better already be living up to it as well.  Each chapter would then end with two prayers, one for your future husband and one for yourself and then some group discussion questions.  I read through this book on my own, but still found them very thought provoking. 

At the end of the book was an appendix with a list of 52 things to pray for your future husband with a scripture, one for each week of the year.  I really love this list and actually copied it and put it in my Bible so that I can remember to pray for my future husband using the list to get started.

Out of five stars this book receives a five star review from me.  This is one of the first times I have seen this subject successfully tackled. 

I hope you have found this book review helpful.

Blessings,
Michelle a.k.a. Mikala

Sunshine Day.... WIWW

Hey everyone, sorry for the long silence!  Life has been so crazy getting ready for my next missions trip, this time to the Philippines.  I actually took the pictures for this weeks "What I Wore Wednesday" almost a month ago!  I hope you enjoy them though!  Once again, I am linking up with the Pleated Poppy.  :)

This is one of my work outfits and has quickly become a favorite.  :)

Dress: Maurices
Jacket: Hand-me-down from sisters
Shoes:  Kenya!!!!
Ring:  My Jeremiah 29:11 ring from Family Christian
Watch: Rue 21
Necklace: Rue 21
Belt: came with dress

I hope you all are having a blessed week, hopefully I'll start doing better with updating!
Blessings,
Michelle

WIWW, Navy and Stripes Edition

Hey Everyone!

I have seen several blogs I follow doing the What I Wore Wednesday link up for awhile now and decided to join them!  I will be linking up with everyone else over at The Pleated Poppy. 

I was so excited when I found out the weather was going to be in the sixties today after all of the cold weather, so I decided to have some fun and pull out my maxi skirt.

Tank- Kohls
Jean Jacket- borrowed from my sister
Skirt- Ebay
Necklace- Dustee's
Shoes- Christopher & Banks
Purse- Market in Kenya

I hope you all enjoyed this first edition!  Also, I am working on the next part of my series on my missions trip to Kenya, it should be up soon!
Blessings,  Michelle